10 simple tips to quickly discover how to be a more patient mom

As moms, we want to be patient with our kids, but some days, that can be especially difficult when kids test our limits. So to understand how moms can become more patient, it is worthwhile to look at the definition.

According to Google, patience is “the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.” 

Patience is more than not getting upset when your Amazon order takes too long to arrive, or refraining from an angry outburst when the package gets left in the rain. I love the insight we can gain from this beautiful scripture about patience.

Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Ephesians 4:2 (NLT)

When kids misbehave, humility, gentleness, and patience are not always the first responses of moms. Patience is about how we treat people around us. Having patience is about controlling our emotions and reactions in any situation. Becoming a more patient mom has nothing to do with our kids and everything to do with us.

Understand that patience does not develop overnight. Think of patience as a muscle; through training, your muscles become stronger over time. How do we make this patience scripture a reality in our everyday life? 

Don’t worry, moms, we can start turning the patience scripture into reality because I have 10 practical steps to becoming a more patient mom:

1. Identify Your Triggers:

When you understand what triggers your impatience, you are better able to control your reactions. Below are some common triggers for moms:

Taking Things Personally

It can be challenging for moms not to read their kids’ disobedience as a failure as a parent. Understand that kids are misbehaving and not listening because of immaturity. Your kids are going to make mistakes. They will be impulsive and say things they shouldn’t because they’re kids.

Overreacting To Small Things

By letting the small stuff go, we moms can be present with the important people in our lives, focusing on the things we value and feeling grateful for all we have. Instead of getting angry about the toys all over the living floor, notice that there is laughter and joy. It’s the gift of perspective. Rather than stress about the mess, moms can kiss their kids and be grateful for a good day.

Having High Expectations

Moms should set their expectations based on their kids’ age and abilities. Kids don’t know how to control their emotions. So they will have tantrums and meltdowns. It’s also easy to forget that their behavior is normal for their age. So, moms can expect obedience, but with a grain of lowered expectations.

Running On Empty

Moms take care of everyone but rarely take time for themselves to relax or recharge. When moms drive the kids to school, after-school activities, meal planning, fundraising, and appointments, moms forget  to schedule time for themselves. An overtired and stressed-out mom lacks the emotional and mental capacity to deal with her kids’ misbehavior. 

2. Practice Self-Care:

Moms need to care for themselves by getting sleep, hydrating, exercising, having alone time, and having time with friends. It might seem impossible, but just taking one step toward caring for yourself will make a difference. So, moms taking time to rest and relax will teach your kids healthy habits.

Read my article Self-Care is Never Selfish: How To Lose The Guilt Of Self-Care to learn how important self-care is to your well-being. 

3. Adjust Your Schedule

Moms spend most of their time caring for kids, working, and managing the household, neglecting their own needs. The key to saving time is to work smarter, not harder. Planning, prioritizing, a few time-management tips, and shaving hours off your weekly schedule are possible. Having your groceries delivered and splitting carpooling duties are great time management tips. 

Read my article 52 Ways Busy Moms Can Save Time to learn great tips and tricks that will help us.

4. Start Journaling:

Journaling provides a safe place to express and process emotions and feelings. Simply writing down your concerns and worries will give you a clearer picture of your needs. This way, difficult emotions become less overwhelming and easier to manage. Journaling provides a much-needed break to help reconnect ourselves and learn our fears, goals, and dreams.

5. Pray Daily:

Praying daily will help us deal with difficult emotions and situations, find peace and comfort, become more compassionate, and strengthen us. Even if it is for 10 minutes, praying will help you focus and give you a different perspective on life.

Listen to my interview with J.D. Greear as he shares practical tips for including prayer in everyday life.

BONUS TIP: Praying and journaling are excellent self-care ways to start your day in a positive direction before your kiddos wake up.

6. Develop A Plan For Impatient Moments:

A plan to deal with impatient moments will decrease angry outbursts and increase positive outcomes. To get started, below are 3 simple steps to a calmer you:

Create Space To Calm Down

Make sure the kiddos are safe; go to another room, like the bathroom, to calm down. Splash cold water on your face. Take some deep, cleansing breaths. Close your eyes for a few moments if you can’t leave. 

Redirect Your Thoughts

Do something to relax your mind. For instance, listen to your favorite song, read your favorite scriptures, or focus on the positive aspects of your day.

Pray

Ask God for strength and patience in dealing with your children with love and kindness. If all you can manage is, “Help me, Jesus,” then go with that. It’s good enough, and He will help.

Adjust The Tone Of Your Voice

Your mean voice might work in the short term, but your kids will stop listening to you in the long run. You can change an entire conversation by adjusting your voice tone when speaking to your kids. Kids will be much more attentive and receive corrections if you talk softly and gently.

Once calm, you can deal with your kiddos and the situation patiently without yelling and regretting your words or actions.

7. Look At The Situation From Your Child’s Perspective:

Remember that your child’s perspective is very different from yours. Seeing things through your child’s eyes and understanding their seemingly extreme behavior as part of their normal development makes it easier to react with calm instead of frustration. 

Kids are driven by emotions, and things that are little to you can feel very big to them. So not finding their favorite blanket or toy can be devastating to them. So put your little kid glasses on and see the situation from your child’s perspective before you react.

8. Adjust Your Parenting Style:

As your child grows, your parenting style will change. Adjust your expectations about what your child can do independently, whether you have a baby learning to sleep through the night, a toddler helping to put toys away, or an older child resolving conflicts. In addition, parents will interact with and discipline their kids differently as they grow. 

Listen to my interview Parenting Well With Andy & Sandra Stanely to learn how establishing their end goal for raising their children shaped their parenting decisions.

9. Spend One-On-One Time With Each Child:

Spending quality time with your kids is about giving them your undivided attention and doing activities they like. Quality time helps to strengthen the bond between you and your child. Playing with your child, telling each other jokes, playing games, or crafting are some ways to spend quality time with your kids. Let your kids help decide how to spend the time. Give yourself permission to be silly! 

Remember, the quality of time is more important than the quantity. So even a few minutes each can make a big difference in your child’s behavior and mood.

10. Appreciate Your Kids:

Take time to recognize your kiddo’s positive behavior and tell them how much you appreciate their efforts. Make a point of finding something to praise every day. For example: “Thank you for picking up your toys today,”  or “I noticed you were patient when playing with your sister.” Be generous with your love, hugs, and compliments. Appreciating your kids will increase their self-esteem, encourage future positive behaviors, and model gratitude.

Final Thoughts: There are two things to remember when trying to be a more patient mom: 

Stop Trying to Be the Perfect Mom: There is no such thing as a perfect mom. Learning to become a more patient person is not about being the perfect mom. You are the perfect mother for your children, and that is more than enough! Patient moms don’t have fewer problems; they have a more positive, optimistic outlook.

Give yourself Grace: Moms give all their heart, mind, and soul to motherhood and still make mistakes. Even with practice, there will be times when your kids push your buttons, and you might react with frustration. Don’t beat yourself up; learn from the experience and move forward. Making mistakes is expected–even for moms!

Being a mom can sometimes be frustrating because raising kids is not easy. Patience is a virtue that all moms can use more of, especially on tough days. I hope these practical tips will help you make the patience scripture a reality in your everyday life. Realize that you will be more patient tomorrow than yesterday, which is progress. I believe in you!

So patience isn’t your superpower, but you FOR SURE have one! Wondering what yours is? Take this 2-minute free quiz to find out your secret superpower.