How to Trust Yourself Again After You’ve Been Wrong. Episode 514
How to Trust Yourself Again After You’ve Been Wrong
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There is a specific kind of loss that does more than hurt. It rearranges you. I know because I lived it. A business I believed in fell apart. A few friendships did not survive the fallout. A decision I made in good faith went sideways in a way I never saw coming. And somewhere in the middle of all of it, I stopped trusting the voice inside me that said yes in the first place.
This episode isn’t about the mistake. It’s about what follows: confidence fading, second-guessing taking over, hovering over the brake, even with a clear path.
I’ll take you back to when it happened to me. After a meeting with an investor in New York City in 2012, I sat in a cafe with four close friends and business partners. Without anyone saying a word, we all knew it was over. The startup was finished. Two friendships didn’t survive. For almost a year after, I was moving, but not freely. Every decision felt like a test I was set to fail.
If you’ve been there, this episode may finally voice what you’ve felt in silence.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- Why being wrong about a decision and being wrong about yourself as a decision maker are two completely different things (and how your brain collapses them together in about four seconds)
- What your amygdala (Alli calls her “Becky”) is actually doing after a painful loss, and why what feels like discernment is often just fear doing excellent costume work
- The two questions to ask about any decision you’re still carrying at 2 a.m.
- How to turn the replay loop into actual data instead of an open wound
- Why self-trust rebuilds through small, consistent low-stakes reps, not a breakthrough moment
Timestamps:
(00:21) – Introduction: How to trust yourself again when you’ve been wrong
(01:36) – The friendship losses that made it personal
(02:19) – What happens when being wrong stops being an event and starts feeling like a verdict
(02:41) – The four-second leap: “that didn’t work” to “I can’t trust my own judgment”
(03:03) – How Alli pulled back, got quiet, started hovering over the brake
(03:42) – Fear as an excellent designer: it shows up looking exactly like wisdom
(03:42) – What self-distrust actually looks like (running decisions by five people, scrolling for someone else’s experience, “waiting on God” when you heard from him two weeks ago)
(04:46) – Starting to ask a different question about what she’d lost
(05:16) – Grieving the losses as real, then separating them from a verdict about her instincts
(07:28) – The GPS analogy: deleting the app because it routed you through a construction zone once
(08:00) – Romans 8:28: not a promise that decisions will be perfect, but a promise he works with all of them
(08:49) – What the rebuild is really about (hint: not becoming better, giving yourself permission to use the judgment you already have)
(09:28) – Step 1: Separate the data from the story. Two questions to ask about the decision you’re still carrying.
(10:37) – The identity shift that changes everything: “I’m becoming a woman who evaluates decisions instead of using them as evidence against herself”
(11:22) – Step 2: Turn regret into data. One question that stops the replay loop.
(11:57) – What to do with the answer (and what to do if the answer is nothing new)
(12:38) – Step 3: Stack small trust reps. Physical therapy for your confidence.
(13:28) – Stacking evidence until your brain starts treating decision-making as something you can handle
(14:14) – Being wrong does not disqualify you. It sometimes informs you.
Links to great things we discussed:
- Alli’s Product Recommendation – Eucerin Face Immersive Hydration Daily Lotion
- Function Health
- Take the Secret Superpower Quiz
- Join the Uplift Community
- Follow Alli on Instagram
- Don’t forget to watch Alli Worthington on YouTube!
If you love filling your home with little reminders of truth, this set of 8 hymn magnets from Little Things Studio is such a joy. Each magnet features a beloved hymn text that lifts your eyes and steadies your heart. They are bright, meaningful, and perfect for your fridge, office, or anywhere you need a little encouragement in the middle of your day.
I’m grateful to co-own Little Things Studio, a joyful, woman‑owned small business in Nashville, TN. Every piece is designed with intention and crafted with care. We hope you feel the heart behind it. Whether you visit our shop or browse from home, you’ll find American-made goods created with love to bring beauty into daily life. Come visit us or shop online today to bring a piece of joy home!
I hope you loved this episode! 🎉
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