The Secret Sauce of Worthwhile Work with Kimberly Stuart Episode 320

The Secret Sauce of Worthwhile Work

Smart Girl Summer is my favorite thing that I do all year. Instead of just talking about a certain topic or a certain project that people have out, I am bringing on friends who are super smart and asking them the behind-the-scenes. Today, we have Kimberly Stuart.

Kimberly Stuart is a writing coach, writer, and podcaster. She is the author of eight novels. She and New York Times-bestselling author Bob Goff have coached hundreds of aspiring authors through their executive coaching, online courses, podcasts, and live events.

In her new book, Star for Jesus (And Other Jobs I Quit): Rediscovering the Grace that Sets Us Free, Kimberly takes readers through big and small moments that teach us to cling to God’s fierce love instead of the flimsier versions we find elsewhere.

Early Days of Kimberly’s Career 

Kimberly was a high school Spanish and ESL teacher and loved her career. When her youngest was born, she switched to being a full-time stay-at-home mom. It was something she knew she wanted to do for a season but did not realize how isolated she would feel. Every time her husband came home from work, she would flood him with questions about his day. 

One day he told her they had an old computer, and she had mentioned she wanted to write, so he encouraged her to write. During nap time, Kimberly would sit down on the couch and write. At first, it was only for her, but eventually, she ended up going to a writer’s conference, which was a Christmas gift from her mom! From that conference, her first novel, Balancing Act, was born. 

The Difference Between Writing Fiction vs. Nonfiction

Kimberly has written both fiction and nonfiction books, and I was telling her how it’s easier to write nonfiction, although I haven’t written a fiction book myself, LOL. So, I asked Kimberly what is the difference between writing fiction and nonfiction. 

She said that for fiction, you start from scratch. You’re trying to figure out the characters that you want to hang out with for a while, making sure they are interesting. And also trying to figure out the plot and make it interesting enough to keep people turning the pages. The good thing about fiction is that you create the characters, and you decide what to do with them. When it comes to nonfiction, you can’t do that. 

With nonfiction, the characters are real people, and it made Kimberly have to look at some stories she didn’t want to look at anymore, things she already lived through and didn’t want to process again. So, there’s more of that when it comes to nonfiction. 

Advice If You’re Thinking About a Book 

To me, it’s a special calling or impulse for women who have it in them that they want to write a book. I think it’s a God-given impulse. So, I asked Kimberly to give some encouragement to anyone who has an idea to write a book. Kimberly provided two pieces of advice. 

1. Sit down and do it. 

It sounds easier said than done, but Kimberly shares a statistic that she read, which said about 85% of people who are asked say yes, they have a book in them, but only 1% of those people actually write the book. 

2. Talk to someone about it. 

Kimberly suggested that you tell someone you trust and not just about the idea of writing a book, but tell them, “I’m writing a book, and next month at this date, I want you to ask me what my word count is.” Because the writing process is so lonely and the more people you invite into the room and tell them you’re doing this and have them ask you about it – can give you that little push. 

Such great advice! Now, let’s get into some coaching. 

Coaching This Week: Self-Talk

Self-talk is so important because the voice that is in your head talking to you all the time that’s the voice that you’re going to hear more than anything else. Have you ever stopped to think about whether you’d allow a friend to talk to you in the way that your inner voice talks to you? I mean, think about that voice inside your head. Is it kind? Is it encouraging? Is it supportive?

Sometimes, but I think more often than not, the voice in our head is mean and critical or just a downer. I want you to keep in mind that the relationship that you have with yourself is the most crucial one because that voice isn’t going anywhere. If you wouldn’t take that kind of talk from a friend, you don’t want to take it from yourself. I’ll also want you to flip it around. Would you ever talk to a friend that way? Would you talk to your best friend, your spouse, or your child in the way that you talk to yourself? 

Jordan Peterson says you should treat yourself as if you are someone you are responsible for helping. So here is your action step this week. When you hear that negative voice in your mind, that voice that criticizes you and beats you up, I want you to imagine a friend is in the exact same situation that you are. Then I want you to take a break and think, this is your best friend or someone that you love so much. And I want you to record a voice memo of what you would tell that friend about the exact same situation. You don’t have to share it with anyone; you can delete it afterward, but I want you to record it because what’s going to happen is that you are starting to train your brain to think in a new way. 

Listen or Watch now:

iTunes.

Spotify.

YouTube.

Favorite Quotes: 

“Sometimes those little tiny dreams we haven’t even put any oxygen on yet, those are the ones that we need someone else to say out loud.”

(7:02 Audio)

 “It makes a difference in the narrative we are telling ourselves and reminding ourselves.”  

(16:22 Audio)

“Failure can come when you are not looking for it.”

(30:46 Audio)

Links to Great Things We Discussed:

• Kimberly Stuart Website
• Kimberly Stuart Instagram
• Star for Jesus (And Other Jobs I Quit) Rediscovering the Grace that Sets Us Free 
• Mini Steamer
• Shani Darden Retinol Reform
• The Great British Baking Show
• Friday Night Lights
• Baja Gold Mineral Sea Salt
• The Joy of Movement: How exercise helps us find happiness, hope, connection, and courage
• Apply for Alli’s Free Coaching
• Create a Course
• Alli on YouTube
• Remaining You While Raising Them

Order your copy of Remaining You While Raising Them here.

Hope you loved this episode!  Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! 🙂

xo,

Alli