I am so glad you are here. We’re still in the “Your Work Matters Series,” and we’re tackling a topic that is relevant to both work and our personal relationships.
Today, we are with my friend, Donna Jones, and we are sharing the truth about conflict and what common behaviors destroy both your personal and work relationships,
Donna Jones is a national speaker, church planter, pastor’s wife, author, writer, podcast host, and self-described “Bible-explainer.” She hosts the weekly That’s Just What I Needed podcast,
In today’s post, Donna shares insights from her new book, Healthy Conflict, Peaceful Life: A Biblical Guide for Communicating Thoughts, Feelings, and Opinions with Grace, Truth, and Zero Regret, and teaches us how to handle conflict in a God-honoring way and how to communicate our thoughts, feelings, and opinions with grace, truth, and zero regret.
Donna shares a great example of when an expectation went without being communicated, and she got frustrated at her husband. His response was, “Expectation without communication leads to frustration.” And she says we must know what our expectations are so we can communicate them. Now, many women don’t know what their expectations are, and Donna says that’s valid. So, how do we identify our expectations?
Our expectations first must go unfulfilled so we can trace it back and say, “Okay, am I frustrated or angry or hurt or upset right now because I had an expectation that went unfulfilled?” If yes, then we have to ask ourselves, what was the expectation, and did I communicate it?
Donna shares the steps on how to have a hard conversation in a healthy way and have things turn out well.
Donna shares the one thing that stood out to her in her research while writing her book was the key to a successful relationship. It was from Dr. John Gottman, and his work on relationships out of the University of Washington. He found he could predict the success or failure of a marriage in one weekend. Interestingly, he found that the key to a successful marriage is actually the same key to other relationships, whether parents, friendships, and extended family relationships. Which is if people paid positive attention to each other, they would make it.
That is the key to successful relationships – how great, right?
“A lot of our conflicts can be preemptive if we communicate upfront.”(11:25 Audio)
“When we are dealing with somebody’s difficult emotions, if we don’t just listen people escalate or they end always. When we are dealing with difficult things the best thing to do is just listen.”(25:09 Audio)
“So many of us think that conflict is bad because we have never learned to work through conflict in a way that makes it turn out good.”(32:04 Audio)
“If you have healthy conflict, you can have a peaceful life.”
Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! 🙂