From childhood to adulthood, your circle of friends consists of people you have met in different phases of life. Whether it’s school, or work, or sports, or church, friendships can enrich your life in many ways. When faced with major changes, your friends advise and encourage you during challenging times.
Motherhood is a life-altering journey that makes mom friends vital. Mom friends will laugh with you and, more importantly, cry with you even when the rest of the world feels like they just don’t get it. So, what are mom friends exactly? A mom friend is a mom who has children of similar ages as yours and can relate to your daily joys and struggles. They are so important that I have given five reasons why you need them and ten ways on how to make mom friends.
Although friends enhance each stage of life, having mom friends can bring more joy to your motherhood journey. Mom friends can help:
Mom friends are essential to your mental health and your family’s overall health. Psychologists have studied the unique friendships between mothers. For example, two Arizona State University researchers found that friendships help mothers to be psychologically healthy and more confident in parenting.
“These findings are extremely encouraging in showing the strong protective potential of close, authentic relationships in buffering women through the myriad challenges of motherhood.” Suniya Luthar, Foundation Professor of psychology at ASU
They found that mothers with friends outside of their family show they have less parenting stress and positive mental health for themselves and their children.
Some moms do not consider making friends because they are busy taking care of their kids, but this is when moms need to share their feelings the most.
Read my article 75 Ways To Improve Your Emotional Health to learn practical ways to become healthier and happier.
Becoming a mother is an identity shift. There is tension between your new role as a mother and other roles as wife, boss, sister, and daughter. This tension is why moms feel like they are losing their identity. When the baby arrives, there is a sudden shift in priorities, responsibilities, and daily routines. At the same time, your work and social life have all changed. Because of this enormous shift, you can feel like your old self is disappearing into a pile of burp cloths and unwashed laundry. Sharing your feelings with another mom going through this will make this transition less stressful. You can understand that rather than losing your identity, you can embrace your new one.
Mom friends give you tips on everyday living. For example, bottle prepping the night before and getting groceries delivered to save you time. Want suggestions on how to choose a preschool for your kiddo? Your mom friends can give you reviews of the schools in your area. Learn how stay-at-home moms earn extra cash or share your tips when working from home with them. You can ask them for advice, and they can also seek yours. You can learn and grow with your mom friends. You can receive so much wisdom from experienced mothers that you won’t find in books.
Listen to my interview with Lisa Bevere on Godmothers, Mom Guilt, and What She Would Say to Her Younger Self, where she explains why we all need spiritually mature women intentionally speaking into our lives.
You can only know the truth about motherhood once you’re living it. You can feel joy, love, guilt, self-doubt, and fear. People around you can sympathize but not empathize, wishing you the best, but not understanding what you’re going through. Motherhood is hard, and mothers are the only ones who know how hard. Although your husband and family members can provide support, mom friends offer a different level of support. Reassurance from another mom who knows what you are experiencing and feeling and has advice to offer is comforting. Hearing that there is a light at the end of the tunnel can provide you hope and encouragement during trying moments.
Motherhood is about managing the lives of the family. With scheduling haircuts, organizing appointments, meal planning, sports activities, work deadlines, and marriage–you may forget something. Your mom friends are there to encourage you that you are not the only mom that forgets a teacher meeting or a soccer game. More importantly, they will remind you that motherhood isn’t about perfection. Instead, the goal is to raise your children to live and love well in an imperfect world.
Listen to my interview with Heather MacFadyen on How to Embrace Imperfection In Motherhood; she shares relatable stories that remind moms they are never alone in the pursuit of becoming the best mom they can be.
From boosting your well-being to embracing imperfection, mom friends are vital in helping you find more joy in motherhood. Now that you know why mom friends are essential, I hope you are ready to take the next step: how to make mom friends.
We teach our kids to share toys and play with others as a way to make friends. But how do moms make friends? Don’t worry, moms, I have ten ways to help you make mom friends.
Before diving into how you can make mom friends, you must be willing to put yourself out there. We often hear this phrase but might not know how to do it. Therefore, it is worth breaking down this phrase into practical steps that you can use.
Listen to my interview with Melaine Dale as we talked about how to put ourselves out there no matter our personality type, how to stay authentic, and how to round the “bases” of friendship.
Getting to know your neighbors can start with simple, friendly gestures that go a long way. Here are three ways to get to know your neighbor:
Listen to my interview with Jennie Allen on How to Make Friends as an Adult to encourage yourself to make friends.
You and your kiddo made it to the park in somewhat clean clothes, so you might be thinking, how do I start a conversation with another mom? Don’t stress; here are three simple ways:
By going to the park regularly, you can start to meet more moms, and conversations will get easier. Before you know it, you can swap numbers or arrange a playdate.
Taking classes and joining mom groups are great ways to connect with other moms. To get started, consider these classes:
If your neighborhood doesn’t have a mom group, start your own! Create your mom group around activities that interest you: stroller walking group, playdate group, or kids activity group. You can meet weekly at parks, libraries, community centers, or local churches. Once you have a location and time set, you can let other moms know by posting on your neighborhood Facebook group, church bulletin board, or community center website.
Getting to know the parents of your child’s friends is an easy way to expand your social circle. Don’t expect to be friends with every parent, and don’t feel you need to force friendships. However, you may find a closer connection and friendship than expected.
Your child’s school is a fantastic way to make mom friends. You could volunteer at the school or help organize a fundraiser. You can even chat with other moms at school drop-offs, pickups, and school functions.
While your kids are playing or dancing, start chatting with the other moms. If the small talk turns into something promising, you might have found a new mom friend.
Organizing a mom’s night out can be a great way to meet new mom friends. Don’t be overwhelmed by planning. Keep it simple. Invite the playground moms and school moms to dinner, a movie, or a trip to Target. It is an excellent way to relax and get to know each other better. Who knows, it can turn out to be a regular outing.
No matter where you live, there’s an online mom group that’s right for you. In addition, local Facebook groups can connect you with other moms for advice, resources, second-hand baby items, and babysitters.
Consider joining Confident Motherhood with Alli Worthington’s Facebook Group where moms share stories, build each other up, and swap tips for parenting.
I am all for tools that make life easier, especially for moms. So here are three apps that help moms make friends:
There are many ways to connect with other moms, from playgrounds to apps. Motherhood isn’t easy, but it offers a common ground for friendships. You shouldn’t do motherhood alone.
So, reach out, find a friend, be a friend, and don’t worry if your kids are too crazy, or your brain isn’t working correctly. Chances are your mom friend will be struggling right alongside you!
Maybe making mom friends isn’t your superpower, but you FOR SURE have one! Wondering what yours is? Take this 2-minute free quiz to find out your secret superpower.
And remember: You’re doing great!