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Across the board whenever I speak to moms there’s one thing that always comes up: guilt. Moms are carrying so much guilt.
Despite the good and thoughtful choices we make for our families we still wonder if there’s something better on the other side. Mom guilt has little to do with our actual choices and everything to do with our mindset and thoughts.
Here are 25 ways to stop mom guilt.
1. Create boundaries around the voices speaking into your life. If you are spending time with anyone that triggers feelings of mom guilt, it’s time to set boundaries.
2. Unfollow the Instagram accounts that make you feel like you’re not enough.
3. Reject the shame spiral. When you start to fall into an endless thought train of shame and everything you don’t do, stop and remind yourself of all the amazing things you do for your family.
4. Remember you’re not the only mom that struggles. Motherhood is hard no matter what type of mom you are, we all have faults and struggles. You aren’t alone.
5. Forgive yourself for your mistakes. No mama is perfect, we all make mistakes and that’s okay. It doesn’t make you a bad mom. It makes you a human mom.
6. Take the pressure off, you’re not Mary Poppins. Your children don’t need a perfect mom – they need you, flawed, imperfect you.
7. Say no to comparison. Whether it’s the mom at school or a neighborhood who you think has it all together. Remember the grass isn’t greener on the other side, that’s a filter.
8. Grace mama, grace – notice a pattern here? You are flawed and that’s okay that’s what makes you. This is what makes you perfect for your family. Give yourself the grace to be exactly who you are no matter how imperfect that may be.
9. Prioritize caring for yourself. What have you done for yourself lately? Healthy guilt-free mamas have healthy self-care practices. What can you do for yourself today?
10. Spend time doing something that gives you joy. The first few times you leave the kids to do something you love may be difficult. But after a while, you’ll realize that you’re not just better for it, but you’re in a healthier guilt-free space as well.
11. Round up your posse of moms. Sometimes you need a girl’s night (in or out) with your good mom girlfriends to help put things into perspective and remind you that you aren’t alone.
12. Tap into your mom superpower. We all have them and embracing who you uniquely are as a mom will help you to lean into your strengths, and gifts and ultimately thrive.
13. Reject expectations that make you feel guilty.
14. Embrace a gospel-centered view of motherhood. Motherhood through the lens of the gospel frees us from the weight of getting it all right and embracing that God has a plan for our children’s lives.
15. Create your own definition of motherhood. Release yourself from the expectations and craft a definition that fits your children, your superpowers, and your family’s vision.
16. Let go of the perfect mom “myth”. The mom you admire most has flaws, ask her kids.
17. Spend time journaling. Writing a letter to your younger mom self is a great way to remind yourself how far you’ve come.
18. Speak back to your negative thoughts. You ARE a good mom.
19. Learn from your journey. None of us are perfect, take the lessons and move forward.
20. Take a break. If you have the support send the kids to grandma’s house for a few days. If that isn’t an option take a break once the kids go to bed. Let the dishes sit and clean up later. Take some time for yourself.
21. Accept that who you are is enough. You are the right mama for your kids.
22. Unplug for a while. Social media is a highlight reel. As you scroll you are looking at the best, brightest, and happiest moments of everyone’s life.
23. Set realistic expectations for yourself. Make those expectations clear and known to your family. You can’t do everything and you can’t make every event and that is okay.
24. Celebrate yourself. You’ve grown so much as a mom. Take time to honor and appreciate all the wonderful ways you’ve grown.
25. Apologize to your kids. Sometimes it’s in our head and sometimes we need to make amends. Maybe you yelled or let someone down. Apologize, ask for forgiveness and move forward leaving the guilt behind.