How to Establish Boundaries and Create Space for Rest Episode 330

Boundaries and Creating Space for Rest

We are in a mini-series, and  I am bringing you the best of the best on a certain topic. Today, we’re talking about boundaries and rest, and I’m bringing you some amazing people with so much wisdom to share.

We’re diving into boundaries, sabbath rest, social pressure on women, practical strategies for incorporating rest, and more.  You see why these topics are my favorite! I’m just bringing you the best of the best this week and next week in this mini-series. 

If you want to establish boundaries and create space for rest but are unsure how to do that, this blog post will change your perspective. 

Let’s dive in. 

Different Types of Busyness With John Mark Comer

John reminds us that we must define busyness because there are two different types. There’s the healthy type of busy, where you have a lot to do, but you’re not wasting your life on Netflix and social media; you’re doing something meaningful with your life. However, there is a more common type of busyness that is not healthy, and this is when you have too much to do and not enough time to do it well. So, you end up speeding up your body, mind, and relationships to this fast-paced life in order to cram everything before going to sleep. 

John says Jesus was busy, but we don’t read about him having a fast-paced life—it’s the opposite. He lived a slow, unhurried, very present-in-the-moment, open-to-interruption, relaxed type of life. 

Reframing Work and Rest in Christian Culture With Terra Mattson

Terra shares that rest can look different for everyone. She shares the example of her friend who lives on a farm and feels guilty for working on Sabbath. Terra asks her what would bring her joy. Her friend answers, raking the leaves and making dinner for her family. That’s exactly what she did, but instead of doing everything fast, she takes her time enjoying it, listening to worship music, and feeling the sun. 

In Christian culture, there are clear definitions of what everyone thinks rest should be and what we think work should be, but Terra says that we have let go of that a little bit. We should widen the parameters of how we think about these things and not get stuck on categories that someone else has put on us. 

What Women Get Wrong About Boundaries With Dr. Sasha Shillcutt

Dr. Shillcutt says that the biggest thing women get wrong about boundaries is that they’re for negative experiences, how to handle problems, or toxic people and environments. In reality, boundaries are more about keeping the good in than they are about keeping the bad out. 

Women realize that boundaries are a positive thing because they are clear and transparent, and the more we want to show up for people as fully as ourselves, the more boundaries we need. 

I shared that I believe many women are afraid of having boundaries, especially in the workplace, because they feel like they’re going to be labeled as difficult. Dr. Shillcutt says it’s because we’ve been socialized as women to believe that there is power in likability. But she thinks that the more likable we are, the more successful we are or, the more peace or power we have. When in reality, she would rather be a woman who’s respected than a woman who’s liked. 

Incorporating Rest With Jess Connolly

Jess shares the little things she started to change to incorporate rest: 

• Stretching
• Write down a to-do list
• Writing a prayer of release 

Then she changed her schedule to say she no longer travels on Fridays or Saturdays so she could be home with her family and attend her son’s football game. Slow changes eventually become big changes and have a bigger impact on your rest and life. 

Listen or Watch now:

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Favorite Quotes: 

“There are two different types of busyness. There is the healthy kind of busyness that just says you have a lot to do and that you are not wasting your life on Netflix and Facebook, but you are doing something meaningful with your life. I am 100% for that kind of busyness, and by that definition, Jesus was very busy.”

1:48 -John Mark Comer

“Love, joy, and peace are incompatible with hurry.”

3:44 – John Mark Comer

“Some kind of a daily touch point of quiet with God where you come to rest is so important. Start where you are at not where you feel like you should be.”

8:12 -John Mark Comer

“Rest can look lots of different ways.”

11:39 – Terra Mattson

“Boundaries are more about keeping the good in than they are about keeping the bad out.”

15:03 – Dr. Sasha Shillcutt

“Start with the small stuff, and it gives you the bravery for the big stuff.”

26:46 – Jess Connolly

“I can extend my boundaries and borders to love and to take care of other people, but I have to have boundaries to extend first. I have to have a sense of self and wholeness with God with me before I can be generous with other people.”

31:04 – Jess Connolly

Links to Great Things We Discussed:

• John Mark Comer Website
• John Mark Comer Instagram
• Terra Mattson Website
• Terra Mattson Instagram
• Sasha Shillcutt Website
• Sasha Shillcut Instagram
• Jess Connolly Website
• Jess Connolly Instagram
• Build a Coaching Business Quick Start Challenge
• Create a Course
• Remaining You While Raising Them
• Alli on YouTube
• Little Things Studio

Little Things Studio is a woman-owned small business bringing daily reminders of beauty and truth to your home and life. These thoughtfully-designed products are made in the USA and focus on the rich words of hymns and the beauty of nature. 

Hope you loved this episode!  Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! 🙂

xo,

Alli