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We are in a mini-series, and I get to bring you the best of the best on a certain topic.
Today, we’re discussing how to make decisions and discern God’s nudges. I’m bringing you some brilliant friends with lightbulb moments and action steps for us.
Here’s today’s order: Emily P. Freeman, Andi Andrew, Havilah Cunnington, and Shauna Nieqiest.
We’re discussing everything from making big decisions to navigating change well, hearing God, and finding your unique way. I’m not here to brag, but it’s a killer best-of-show today!
Let’s dive in.
Right off the bat, Emily shares that questions are powerful and helpful when making big decisions. For example, she said when she’s in a space that she’s questioning, she simply tries to get a big picture overview and remind herself, did I choose this room, or did this room choose me?
If you realize that the room was chosen for you, it doesn’t mean you’ll necessarily leave, and that’s okay, but it means you’re starting to own your own choices. But if it is a room that you chose, oftentimes, there are a lot of stories attached to it because we either worked really hard to get there or those are the rooms that are harder to make a change in. They also sometimes may be tied to our identity.
Emily shares the difficult decision of having to let go of her ASL certification and reminds us that sometimes, certain rooms aren’t for us anymore. This doesn’t mean that we chose the wrong room; it means that we are growing and changing, and life is different. And just because you’re good at something doesn’t mean you have to do it forever.
What a great reminder. Let’s go with Andi now.
First things first, we have to come to terms with the fact that change very rarely comes without grief. And Andi shares that we have to properly grieve because it will show up somewhere later on. So, for her, there were seasons of change that she didn’t grieve properly; she held on to it, and she ended up in the ER because it was stored in her body. Depression came upon her, and she had gut issues because of it.
Andi shares why it’s important to have a game plan for transition. But self-awareness is important, too. Self-awareness will help you realize why you feel emotional, tired, or trying to cut everyone’s head off. You will be able to pause, take a moment to cry, be alone, and let it all out.
Havilah shares that we hear three people: we hear ourselves, we hear God, and we hear the enemy. She says the hardest person to hear God for is yourself because we all have ulterior motives. This is an awareness we need to have. So, how do we know when we are hearing God and not ourselves? It’s when we know God’s word and know that He isn’t contradicting Himself.
Many people say that this is what God is saying, but they don’t know God’s word, so it sounds like God is contradicting Himself, but He isn’t. Havilah says this is how she figures out if she’s hearing God for herself:
We want to hear God’s voice, not to marry the cute guy or make money; we want to hear God’s voice, because a relationship isn’t possible without His voice.
Shauna shares that there are events or seasons in our lives where we are changing. We are always getting older and growing, but every once in a while, there are dramatic changes that happen where everything stops working at once.
As she was writing her book, Shauna shared that one day, her mom called her and read a passage from her journey when she was in her mid-forties, which was around Shauna’s age. It says everything that used to work stopped working all at once. So Shauna went through the same where everything that used to work in her life stopped working.
Shauna’s advice for someone in this season is to not go through this alone and seek help. And she means a good therapist. She said she couldn’t go through her change without her therapist because a trained professional therapist is a major gift in that season. And secondly, spending time alone will help.
How good were these?
“Just because it is not the right room for me anymore doesn’t mean I chose wrong in the first place and doesn’t mean I made a big mistake. It just means I am growing, and changing, and life is different now.”
4:31 – Emily
“Recognizing when you don’t feel a peace now means it is time to get curious. Sometimes we assume every flag is a red flag but sometimes a flag is just a flag or a yellow flag and it means slow down.”
9:20 – Emily
“There is a reason why the mourning process in the Bible was so wild and why they would put sackcloth and ashes and wail and mourn. They knew they needed to move it out of their bodies so that they could move forward in life.”
13:23 – Andi
“The hardest person to hear God for is yourself because you have ulterior motives, desires, and a bad filter.”
20:42 – Havilah
“We want to hear God’s voice because you can’t have a relationship without His voice.”
23:15 – Havilah
“If you feel overwhelmed by the mess that your life has become, don’t try to go through that alone. Definitely a trained professional therapist is a major gift in that season.”
30:47- Shauna
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Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! 🙂
xo,
Alli